Moving on

Okay so I need to embrace the feelings, so:

1. I feel hurt.  I feel hurt because I feel rejected by someone that I thought felt deeply for me but didn't.  He just doesn't care as much as I thought he did and I'm really disappointed.

2. I feel angry that he is such a fucking drip.  Such a fucking wishy-washy, weak drip.  Just a waste of space, drippy fucking excuse for a man.  No backbone, no drive, no go get.

If he does not have the 110% intention to be with me, then he is not the one for me. If real intention is there, any obstacles, no matter how insurmountable, can be overcome. If the intention isn’t there, then anything else can come forth as a “reason” for not being together.

You can interpret his behavior in whatever way you want – irresponsible, evasive, unsure, conflicted – but the fact is, he has chosen to avoid answering, to not communicate.  If he can’t even give you a proper answer - one that you need, he is just not worth it.

There is no preset criteria on what are the “right” or ‘wrong” traits to embody, just different expectations. If you don’t embody the traits the person is looking for, that just means you guys aren’t the right match. That’s all. There is nothing wrong with you or him. You guys just aren’t suited for each other.

Just because I am single now doesn’t mean I will remain forever single!!  It just means I have not found the right person yet. Meanwhile, I'll focus on living my best life by my own definition. Most importantly, I know that my life doesn’t and shouldn’t ever hinge on having a 'special partner' or not. I am complete by myself and relationships are not be there to complete us.

We can have pain and sadness from an experience, but there’s always a way out. It’s up to us to decide whether we want to swirl around in the past or move to a better place.  We always have a choice.  It’s easy to choose the former.  It takes courage to take the latter step.  But it’s worth it.

I thought him coming back in to my life was for us to be together but I realise now it wasn't at all.  It was to encourage me to leave Nick and the mundanity of being in a dead relationship but not to walk slap bang into another one!  I now believe it was to give me the opportunity to get to know myself properly, figure out who I was and what I want.  Grow to like myself again and meet the real love of my life.  He is coming.  Hopefully not this side of Xmas!  I'm way too fat!  Yes, that makes much more sense :o)  It didn't work out, it's kind of a shame but its probably just not meant to be - it might actually even be a bit of a relief!  Here's to a fresh start!  Who knows what might happen? 'citing!! xx