Yeah, I know I've said it before but I really now think that I am. It's been rumbling on for quite some time but hasn't worked out at all and therefore probably isn't really meant to be. A huge shame and I will always be really sorry that we couldn't find a way to make it work.
I bloody should be over it, he is just a joke. An absolute joke. Seriously, some kind of absolutely fucking ridiculous joke. What kind of person can't say they care? I can't be with someone like that. Who COULD be with someone like that? He is mental. I don't need that. He seriously has something wrong with him. I may have had a lucky escape.
I'm moving on, I have to. It just made me unhappy. Constantly wondering where he is with everything. When was the last time I felt happy? Really? HE is responsible for all this overeating! I've absolutely been wasting my time. It's been 18 months for gods sake and he's done and said nothing other than accusing me of not being interested and not making an effort!!
I'm just going to ignore it now. Ignore him completely. Shut it off. Just leave him well alone. I'm done, I have nothing left to say. You don't treat people you care about like that. You just don't. I won't let anyone treat me like that. I've said all I have to say to him, there is no point repeating myself and just going round in circles. I have given more than I am comfortable to give and it ends NOW. NOW. It's over.
He didn't mean any of what he said. I don't want another baby anyway. I have my two amazing boys :D They are all I need - apart from my own space eventually but all in good time. I can make this space nicer and more liveable in. More comfortable for us. No trouble.
I'm going to stay hopeful and optimistic of meeting a nice, handsome man in the future. I need to get my life straight first though. Get myself back on track and happy again. Need to get slim, fit, healthy, start some hobbies, organise a good social life, organise myself, like myself again, be proud of myself again.
December is going to be the month. It all starts on Saturday. The house will be let. I will be out having a giggle with the girls - some amazing friends whom I love very much. Carla and Mel. MUST make more time for them. And Emma D, Carys and Helen. And Debbie C. And Shelley, Emma Page, Erin, Nala, Susie, Tiggy - all really lovely people. And Sally!!
Look forward, not back. Jack was right :) You knew it all along.
Andrew, I'm sorry to have to clarify this - I think you probably already know - but it's over for me now. I gave you so many opportunities to save it but you chose not to. It is all your own doing and you have to accept responsibility for it. You had a choice and by doing nothing, you made your choice. I will not take responsibility for it this time, you ruined it. I would have done anything for you at one time but not now. It's gone, it's over. Everyone has their limits and I have reached mine. It's a huge shame and I will always be really sorry it didn't work out. I sincerely wish you every happiness for your future. Lorraine
PS I would really appreciate it if you would delete all my contact details, those of my family and preferably all correspondence as well. I will do likewise. This will ensure there is no accidental contact. Please don't be concerned that you will receive an email from me in a few months time, you won't. Wishing you the best of luck with everything.
Yes, done. All done. Shame.
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