Oh dear, overate tonight

I did really well today until I got home.

I ate:

Protein shake

Tesco meal - thai chicken
3 crunchy crackers with a tub cream cheese
two yogurts

And I shouldn't have eaten, didn't need to eat, but was tired and cold and thirsty.

I'm embarrassed to admit that having had 4 really good days, this evening I ate:

Big chunk of ham
Small tub of cream cheese
Packet of cheese & onion crisps
Tesco meal - giant couscous
3 large chocolate chip cookies
1 pot of custard

Feel crap now for doing that :o(

I've been playing out conversations with TDH in the car today who hasn't been in touch. Am I surprised?  Not really.  Do I care?  I mean REALLY, TRULY, HONESTLY?  Actually no.  I actually really don't!  Feels strange saying that... I thought I would always care but I just like things finished off properly. I think that's what's bothering me the most now not that I actually want to be with him.  I think we should probably talk things through and end things properly and amicably.  For that I need to be looking AMAZING, just so he knows what he's lost.  However, there is NO WAY IN THE WORLD I AM CONTACTING HIM NOW - FUCK THAT, I'M NOT DOING THAT.  I think I've tried hard enough.  Ball is in his court.  I'm not fussed anymore.  Really not.  C is absolutely right as usual.  If I had someone else, or even the prospect of someone else, I wouldn't waste my time thinking about him.  In the new year, I'm really going to start getting on with my life.  That will involve meeting new people, perhaps even a lovely man :o)  Someone who actually wants to be with me and who knows how you treat someone that you care about.  That would be refreshing :o)  There are good men out there, just got to look.

Am shattered, need to go to bed really badly!!  Tiredness = rubbish eating! Love you LB xx

I'm really tired, I so should have pre-empted the above eating session.  I will look out for it next time.  Keep going, keep learning and bloody well go to sleep now. xx