I just don't know how to feel.

2 weeks later and I hear back.  But the message is at best disappointing and at worst - I just don't know!  Rude, pointless, just nothing.  I just don't know why he's bothering.  He actually isn't.

It's just disappointing.  I feel let down.  Worse than if he hadn't got in touch I think.

I'll leave it today.  Maybe reply tomorrow.

"Hi. Hope you had a nice break." - wtf?

Potential replies:

1. It was nice, thanks.

2. I did, thanks.

Seriously.  Why would he bother getting in touch with just that? What am I supposed to think? I went with option 2. The only reason I did reply was so he couldn't say 'Well I got in touch with you but you didn't reply'.  I should have waited longer I suppose.  Oh whatever.  I won't go on Whatsapp tonight.  I'll just leave it now.

There is a part of me I suppose that wants him to try.

I'm simply not fussed anymore which is a shame.  For him anyway.  Need to just focus on me and myself and my boys.

XXXX Got to get on XXX

Message to Andrew: Andrew, you don't communicate, you behave as though you couldn't care less, what is it you want me to do?  It feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.  I can't read your mind.  I can only go on what you text and how you behave.  My conclusion based on these two things is that you don't want me, you don't want us and are generally not fussed.  My confusion is not understanding why you don't just call it a day.  Presumably to cause more confusion and hurt.  If you don't want me, tell me and let me go and find someone who does.  All this nonsense is just ruining it for me.  I don't feel the same way I did at all.  How could I?

Carla and Sally are both being a wonderful support.  I'm so lucky to have them both.

I'm not really sure, Andrew.  It's difficult.  I just don't really see the point of continuing to just go round in circles.  It's just making me confused and unhappy.  I don't know where you are with things, I don't know what you want.  I'm not a mind reader so I have to base my conclusions on what you say and how you behave.  You say you want to stay in touch and maybe see me.  That isn't something you say to someone you care about Andrew.  It's just not.  You made no effort to fight for this, give no indication in anything you say or do to make me feel as though you want to be with me at all.  So why bother to get back in touch?  And with such a ridiculous nothing of a message?  How did you expect me to respond to that?

I want to be in a relationship that is committed and sincere.  You don't appear to want the same or if you do, it's not with me.  So why not just end it?  Then I can go and find someone who does actually want to be with me?  Why continue going around in circles?  I simply don't understand and I'm so tired now of trying to figure it out and getting it wrong all the time.  It's pointless Andrew. Absolutely pointless.